SPECIAL DELIVERY

Fortunately, I had been able to go to a few meetings and it was still safe to leave Alan alone at home for just over an hour.  When I left him he was usually in his Office, deep in concentration doing his drawing, so I always left him with plenty of coffee and biscuits, gave him a huge hug, reassured him how much I loved him, and drove like crazy to the Caregiver Group.  I always felt guilty that I was sneaking away, and in truth there was a certain freedom in being alone in the car with my own thoughts.  As soon as the meeting was over, I always rushed back home; but one day when I got back the front door was wide open and Alan was no where to be found.  The answering machine had lots of messages, and it turned out to be a neighbor, who said that Alan was with them and had told them I had run off with another man and was very upset.  I explained to her about his diagnosis, and she said I should strap him to a chair apparently that’s what they had done with her Father.  Needless to say, that wasn’t going to happen in my world, but at that moment I became acutely aware that I could no longer leave him alone even for an hour or so.  After that I stopped going to the meetings for a while, but my soul sisters kept in regular contact with me.  They were both on their own journeys; but we all tried to help one another as much as possible.    Alan was still very high energy, he would walk around the neighborhood, picking either flowers from our garden, or from someone else’s and with his generous loving nature would either give them to neighbors, or to me.  I realized that I wanted to capture as many happy moments as I could, and started taking videos.

 

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